Josh and I already have 5 weddings on the calendar for 2014. Now that we’ve graduated and all our friends are settling down, we’re entering a phase in our lives where everyone is getting married (Yay!!!!).

We have our first wedding in mid-April, so I thought I’d share some tips for wedding guests from a recent bride.

-If there’s an open bar, pace yourself.

• I attended a wedding where one of the guests would order a second drink before he had even finished the first, drank all through dinner, and entered the dance floor with a glass of red wine—which he spilt all over a bridesmaid while dancing. I heard another story of a bridesmaid who continuously tipped drinks back and ended up getting into the wedding cake pre-cutting ceremony and began opening the gifts. DON’T BE THAT GUEST! The bride and groom want you to have a good time, but make sure you monitor your “fun” level and quit while you’re ahead.

-Be the first to hit the dance floor.

• There is nothing more awkward than getting a party started, please don’t make the bride have to do it. After all the “First Dances” when the DJ or band invites guests to dance, get out there! You won’t be alone for long and it really helps the bride feel at ease about how her guests are enjoying the party.

-It’s ok to give gifts that aren’t on the registry.

• Some of the best wedding gifts we got weren’t on our registry. One sorority sister had our wedding invitation professionally mounted in a gorgeous frame. One friend gave me a coffee mug that was engraved with our names and our wedding date. It’s ok to get creative with gifts, especially at bridal showers, as long as it’s something unique or classic that the bride won’t have thought of or would love. That being said…

-When in doubt, stick to the registry.

• Ok, I know I just said it’s ok to give gifts that are on the registry and it is, but if you aren’t 100% sure the bride is going to tear up at your gift or won’t need it, stick to the registry! The bride (and sometimes the groom) spend countless hours wondering the aisles of Target and Bed, Bath & Beyond picking out guaranteed items that they would like to receive. So buying from the registry is a definite way to get the couple something they want. And be sure that when you buy something off the registry to make sure it comes off the registry so they don’t end up with two toaster ovens and two ice cream makers (like we did).

-Don’t be afraid to approach the bride and groom at the reception.

• At our reception, Josh and I sat at a table at the very front of the hall where everyone present could stare at us. It was nice to finally sit down and be alone together, but it was also super awkward to try and relax and have a drink while 200 people were watching you eat. Give the couple some breathing room once they sit down and give them some time to eat, but don’t be afraid to talk to them. It takes the edge off of being the center of attention when they can focus on a few guests at a time. Plus, they wanted you to be there to celebrate their day and they want to see you.

-Don’t be afraid to ask the couple to take a picture.

• They’ve just taken pictures with Grandma and Grandpa, Great Aunt Louise and every member of their blood relations, but the bride and groom don’t normally take professional pictures with other guests outside of the bridal party and family. I loved taking pictures with all of my sorority sisters and friends from home! If my sisters hadn’t asked to take a picture with me, then I might not have had a group shot with all the women I had spent the last 4 years of my life with. Getting a group of friends together to take a picture with the bride is ok and sometimes appreciated. Plus, the bride picked her bridesmaids to help protect her from other guests, so she is not in the mood to take pictures one of her bridesmaids will probably drop you a hint.

-Finally, it really means a lot when you tell the couple how happy you are for them or what a great time you had.

• When Josh and I got back to our room after the wedding and all through the next day, our phones blew up with people texting us how happy they were for us, pics from the wedding, videos of their after parties, and sweet comments about the cake, my dress, the decorations or the entire evening. We definitely felt the love of each guest every time our phones went off. You might not want to bother the couple, but there is a power button on their phones they can hit if they don’t want to be disturbed. Let them know you had a great time or how happy you are that they’ve finally tied the knot—the screen shots and saved photos will continuously remind them of their special day.

When in doubt at a wedding, just remember who you’re there to celebrate and think of what you’d want (or wouldn’t want) at your own wedding!

–Mrs. Dominico

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